Sometimes we choose reinvention and sometimes reinvention chooses us. Whichever way it happens, it can be a painful but essential process for us to experience, certainly in business but also on a personal level too.
In December 2017 I had a serious wake up call! I didn’t see it coming and couldn’t accept or appreciate what was happening to me until I found myself sitting in A&E on a Saturday morning seriously unwell. A series of events in my life leading me to complete physical and psychological breaking point. If you’ve read any of my previous posts you’ll know I talk about OSM’s, well this was off the scale. More of an ‘OFM’ if you know what I mean.
It’s taken me a while to come to terms with what happened and even now saying it out loud sounds weird. It’s not easy to admit that you’ve had a breakdown. To admit that you’re having a mental health issue. But, you have to take it seriously when your body and mind tell you it’s time to stop. It was a tough and painful end to 2017 and the weeks that followed didn’t get any easier. Every time I told myself things were as bad as they were going to get something else happened that made things worse. It was hard to see a way through.
I knew I had tough decisions to make and probably the hardest one of all was the decision to leave my role at River Island. A business I love and an AMAZING team who inspired and energised me every single day! I also knew I needed to take some time out to focus on self-care and getting myself fit and well again. So, I set out to get the help I needed.
I spent a long time trying to get back to ‘normal’ again before realising that ‘normal’ wasn’t the same thing anymore and going back was never going to be an option. I’ve had hours of counselling and therapy, I’ve focussed on eating well, exercising, practicing mindfulness, and exploring conventional and alternative practices to support my recovery. I’ve done more work on myself in terms of self-care and self-discovery in the past months than I’ve done in the last 10 years. I started to find a way through. I started to have moments when I felt even stronger and more confident than I had before.
The past months have been a steep learning curve and although it’s been hell to get through I can see the positives in it now. I’m grateful that this happened to me and humbled to have found a way through it with the help and support of some amazing people. Thank you wholeheartedly if you were one of the people who reached out to me during this time, you helped me get through this, you made a difference, and, I appreciated it even if I wasn’t in a position to reply to you or let you know at the time.
I’ve had moments when I’ve felt embarrassed by what happened, worried about what this would mean for my reputation and future, unable to talk about it. But, you know what, I decided it is ok to talk about it, to be open and honest about it because if I can share what happened to me and how I got through this maybe you won’t feel so alone if it happens to you or to someone you know. I see now that something good can come from this.
From personal experience, I know that sometimes the people who really need help don’t ask for it because they don’t know they need it. They don’t see it coming. How do you help people who don’t know they need help? Something to think about because this matters to everyone.
When you’ve been through it, you see it coming a mile off and can do something about it. So, coming out of this, I’m already physically, mentally, and spiritually stronger and healthier than I ever was before……and I’m not done yet! I already know I’m a better person because of it. I have insights and experience now that mean I’m a better Coach, a better Mentor, and a better Leader than I ever was before. My entrepreneurial soul feels alive and energised!
So, am I back to my old self? HELL NO! Because I found my better self and I know with the work I’m putting in now, the best is still to come.
Right now, I’m working on fulfilling one of my life goals with a very exciting project, more on this soon. I’m also working on a super-cool reinvention for the HR Entrepreneur’s Network and from April I’ll also be available for CEO/Board advisory work, consulting projects, 1:1 Exec coaching and mentoring. Please do reach out if you’re interested in working with me.
Also, please get in touch if you’d like to be added to my new mailing list as I have so much I want to share with you over the coming months.
See you very soon.
I found my better self, now let me help you find yours.